Make me smile for no reason.
Hear me laugh out loud at your silly jokes.
Let me be comfortable enough to be goofy around you
Tell me you love me because you mean it.
Listen to how my day went…
Nod when I look at you
Or shake your head…
if my face prompts you to.
Kiss my forehead
because you know what a good woman
and feels like.
Rub my feet or back just because
you know I had a rough day.
Hold my face in your hands,
stare at me
tell me how beautiful I am to you.
Kiss me…like it’s the last time you’ll kiss me.
Kiss me…like the first time you kissed me.
Kiss me…like a man who adores his queen.
Let me be yours in action and thoughts.
Hold me because my body yearns for you to…
Squeeze me as my pheromones release an
essence of longing that only you quench.
Love me…because you’re supposed to.
Love me…because I deserve for you to.
Love me…because not doing so…doesn’t feel right.
Love me…because I’m all your soul craves.
Need me…as much as I need you.
Need me…like you needed me back then…
Watch me walk away
as my footsteps, scent and smile fade away.
Watch me and see that underneath the smiles displayed
or despite the things that I may say
you know deep down that I’m unhappy!
Reminiscing and wishing for the days
When I was all you thought about…
When I was the only one there.
When I was all that mattered.
When I was your everything.
Now everyday I hope and long for a day
When you’d do as you did…
As I recollect about my first pregnancy, I remember how many mixed emotions I had. I was twenty-five, nervous, happy and afraid. I would have someone else’s life in my hands. I’d be responsible for another human being.
As a parent, you only have one chance. If you screw up, you’d end up screwing someone up. I wanted to be the parent I always wanted for myself. I didn’t know what type of mother I was going to be but I wanted to be a great one.
When I had my son, I just looked at him. His tiny, frail body—his ten fingers, ten toes, perfect smile…yes my son smiled at the hospital. He was an extrovert from the moment he was born. I placed my finger in his hand and he held onto it. I held him near my bosom and he fell asleep.
Being a mom came natural to me. I was only concerned with protecting him. As he grew, I found myself teaching him things that only nourished his mind for the later stages.
Am I nervous this time around? I am somewhat because now I’m having a little girl. I’m not one of those women who get hung up on their sons. I plan on being the same way with my daughter as I have with my boys. I hope that I can be a positive role model to her. I pray that I can prepare her for life to the best of my ability.
I have to agree that each pregnancy is a different experience. I cannot wait for my daughter’s arrival but I’m being patient. When she gets here, I plan on enjoying her along with the rest of my family. I feel so blessed by all that I attain. It’s funny how I notice how grateful I need to be when I look into my kids’ eyes. Every morning I wake up, I thank God for all that he has and continues to bless me with. I look forward to what he has in stored for me…trust me folks; there are great things in stored for Nai’lah Carter.
I told myself last year that by April 2012, I’d be a professional Writer. It’s June and I haven’t achieved that goal. So I ask myself, ‘what makes me a professional writer?’ Earning money from writing makes me a professional. However, not because I haven’t fully achieved my goals mean that I won’t one day.
As I reflect on where I was last year to now, I know that I’ve accomplished a lot. I have maintained an active website and continue to work on great projects that will one day give me an opportunity to do what I’ve always wanted to.
As a Screenwriter, I have a few unfinished projects that need to be edited. However I also submitted one of my scripts to one of the most prestigious competitions around the world, The Nicholl Fellowship. Who knows if I’ll place well or what will be the outcome. It was something I wanted to be a part of last year but didn’t think I had anything worth reading. Hopefully, I’ll have some great news for you later on this year—fingers crossed.
As an Author, I published my first self-help book. The funny thing is my peers have been so proud of my accomplishment and cannot understand why I don’t feel awesome about it. It’s not that I don’t feel great; I have so much going on that I haven’t had much time to absorb my accomplishments.
As a Playwright, I haven’t had much time to dust off my plays to work on them. I’m taking everything one day at a time. The baby doesn’t offer me much energy to work as hard as I’d like to. I’m due in 8 weeks and I cannot wait to get back on my grind.
In a nutshell, I may not be able to do my writing full-time YET…I know it won’t be for much longer. I just have to continue on my journey.
There’s no job in the world greater than being a mom. My kids give me a reason to live, to smile, to be better. I took my son to the water park last weekend and of course I took a thousand pictures because this time goes by so quickly; I aim at capturing all of it on camera/tape. I watched him being silly, making friends and just having a blast. Every time he did something he thought was amazing; he yelled, “mommy, look at me!”
When I look into my kid’s eyes, I feel overwhelmed with joy. As a parent you want to give your them the things you didn’t have growing up. Sometimes I can overcompensate with the hugs and attention but hey…sue me! If I could catch my kids before they fall, I would. I’m becoming better though by allowing them to have their own experiences thus making their own mistakes.
Still, I cry like a big baby when I realize how fast the time is escaping me. My five year old graduated from Kindergarten this week and he reminded me all week as if I would miss it for the world.
I walked through the door and the Kindergarten classes were all assembled in the cafeteria seated quietly awaiting the commencement of the ceremony. My son’s face lit up when he saw me, he excitedly waved and my heart melted. He mouthed, “Where’s daddy?” As his dad walked in behind me, being the extrovert that he is, my son yelled, “Hey daddy!” I video taped the entire ceremony then parents were invited to the classroom where his teacher awarded special certificates to each student.
My son was awarded the “Sports Star” because he is so well versed about sports—a gift from his father no doubt. I remember when he graduated from Pre-School; each student expressed what they wanted to be when they grew up. He stood up and announced, “I want to be a football player!” and my husband smiled…of course by this time I was in tears. He played flag football last year but starts tackle football this year so let’s see if this athletic soul changes much by his next graduation.
I don’t care what he wants to do—I’m not one of those parents who impose their dreams on their kids. Whatever he aspires to be, I will support him. Seeing my kids happy is the greatest feeling in the world—nothing comes close to being as great as motherhood. Feel free to comment and/or share a mommy/daddy story.
I’m 8-weeks from doing this all over again and I’m so excited you guys. I appreciate all of your warm thoughts and wishes. I’ll keep you posted.