For the past two months I’ve been so sleep deprived that it’s beginning to affect my memory, my drive and my patience. I feel like a walking zombie. My daughter turned 8 weeks today and though I’ve figured out her sleeping/feeding cycle—there are intervals where those have patterns change. She’s eating more and I feel as if she’s depleting me of any energy left.

For those of you that haven’t been on Twitter, I mentioned that I’m back to work. I’m not too pleased about that but grateful that I have a place to return to with the way our economy has been.

Prior to me returning to work, her pediatrician wanted me to feed her every two hours but she’d wake up at 3:00AM and refused to sleep until 6:00AM. The difference here was that I was on maternity leave so I was able to have frequent naps throughout the day. Now, I’m up by 3.30AM; feed her then get myself dressed for worked. By 4:45/5:00AM I’m at work. I pick her up from daycare at 1.31PM. When I get home, I clean/cook then get my son off the school bus at 3:43PM. From there it’s homework/reading/mental stimulation ‘time’, then I get him ready for football practice. At 5:00PM my husband takes him to his practice, thankfully!

Now, for the next two hours she gets a bath and hopefully takes a nap. Sometimes it works in my favor but other times…well, I take it as it comes. During this time, I can either utilize for writing/nap time. At 8:30PM my son gets home and either my husband or I give him a bath. We have dinner and by 9:30 it’s bed time (for my son). By this time I’m on the verge of “E” i.e. empty. I get her things ready: her clothes, diaper bag and prepare my son’s lunchbox for the next day because my husband gets them ready and drops them off prior to going to work. So around 10/10:30PM I can’t think, I’m confused, I’m irritated and very impatient—mostly with my spouse—who else am I supposed to take my frustrations out on? (Joke!)

My question to other mothers is: how can I make time to write? How can I make time for me when so much is expected of me? Sometimes I become so frustrated because the moment I sit down to put a dent in some writing or just to relax; she wakes up. Then the next day while I’m at work I just ponder about how unproductive I’ve become. It’s not that I’m not inspired or motivated—I don’t have the time nor energy to do anything outside of my children. I’ve heard of stories where moms return to school to attain degrees with four or five kids. How the heck do they do it?

Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that what I do isn’t a lot; I’m just trying to figure out how I can be more productive throughout the day. I can use a few pointers here.

Looking forward to your responses,
Nai’lah

 
 
Hey all:

Things have been so hectic lately. I've been struggling to get back on track but it's a little more difficult to do so with a new born. Please join me in welcoming my daughter to this world.
 
 
For those who have been keeping up with my blogs or following me on Twitter, I expressed that I was taking some time off in preparation to the arrival of my daughter. She was due on 8/1 but on 7/25 she was on her way. I started having contractions at 8.30pm but they subsided after about thirty minutes. Unfortunately for me, this ‘false alarm’ has been triggered so often during this pregnancy; I didn’t pay any attention to it. I went to bed and couldn’t stop tossing and turning throughout the night. At 2.30am I was awaken with strong pains in my stomach. I looked at my clock and began timing the contractions that now lasted for about an hour and got stronger and stronger by the minute. Still, I didn’t think that it was “time” but my husband advised that we should go to the hospital. I obliged.

We arrived at there at 4.30am. After the doctor checked my cervix, she said, “you’re 6 centimeters dilated” and I thought OMG…I’m going to have this baby today. This pregnancy was a challenge: I had symptoms I didn’t experience with my first pregnancy and I know you all are going to say it, “every pregnancy is different”! Yes, I know but geesh. I experienced nausea for the first five months and lost about fifteen pounds as if I could afford to lose weight.

Anyway, my contractions became so severe I opted to lie on my back. Whoever thought that something so minute would cause problems? From throwing up to becoming incoherent; my doctors had to alter my medications. It took a while for me to return to my normal state. The nurses inserted a catheter that I didn’t feel thank goodness to the epidural then my doctor said to my husband, “we’ll have this doctor by noon.” You’d think my husband was the one that had been pregnant or was in delivery. LOL. He was more excited/relieved than me.

I didn’t want to get emotional like I did during my first pregnancy but I was worst. I was checked two more times then finally my doctor said, “It’s time!” I started crying. The thought of me being able to finally meet my daughter was so overwhelming. “Push and hold for ten seconds!” the nurse said…I was exhausted. “The baby’s heart rate is dropping!” I heard the doctor say; I was worried. I’m not sure where I got the energy or strength but I was ready to push even if it meant I’d pass out after I had her…LOL. The doctor had to use a vacuum extractor along with me and I pushed and pushed until I heard the sounds every mother yearned to hear: her baby crying. My tears were uncontrollable and copious—I was filled with so many different emotions…mostly joy. The nurse rested my daughter on my chest. I couldn’t see her face and barely had enough strength to lift her. I remember asking my husband “Is she beautiful?” He replied, “Of course! She looks just like you.” He tries to be so tough especially when I’m down; I caught a glimpse of my husband looking at us with tears welled up in his eyes. It was a sentimental moment for us.

Though sleep deprived, I’m enjoying every minute of it. I haven’t been able to get any writing done because I’m working around her schedule. However, I can promise that things will return to normal soon. I look forward to tweeting and #DropAline Thursdays once things fall into place. I’ll post pictures soon.

Thanks for reading!
Nai’lah

 
 
Readers,

The pregnancy has been adventurous but it seems like it will be lasting longer than expected. My doctor said that the baby hasn’t moved down in two weeks. My cervix isn’t even dilated. I scheduled another appointment for 8/3/2012 and if she’s not here by then my doctor will have to induce labor between 8/5 – 8/9.

Since I’m extremely low on energy and I haven’t been writing the way I should be, I decided to take a break from my writing at least until the baby gets here.

I hope that you all understand and will continue to support me as you’ve done in the past. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted on my progress.

Warm Regards,
Nai’lah
 
 
You all may be aware of this or some of you may be unaware but I’m currently on maternity leave from my full-time job. The past two weeks have been very relaxing for me. My feet were swollen everyday but haven’t been since I’ve been out.

Things have been challenging some days, easy going on other days and well…just plain overwhelming somewhere between. I’ve been struggling to find understanding so I’ve been praying a lot. Finally, I’m ready for the arrival of my daughter—from washing her new clothes in Dreft to assembling her crib, installing the car seat etc, etc…my family and I are READY! My due date is still set for 8/1/2012 and I have a standing appointment with my doctor for the next two weeks.

Where am I with writing? It’s funny because some days I can be very productive then I have my days where I’m caught up doing mommy stuff and the day drifts past before I know it.  I really wanted to get so much more accomplished before my little one gets here but I’m taking it one day at a time and trying to remain as stress free as I can be.

Where am I with networking? To be honest, I haven’t been on my best behavior. I’m very disappointed in myself and hope that I can get back on track.

I’ve been looking for a different job and have applied for quite a few. My ultimate goal is to be able to stay home with my kids and be able to financially provide for them through the earnings of my writing. All in due time, I guess. Patience is a virtue and I’m exercising it coarsely.

I haven’t been blogging as much and I hope that I haven’t lost my readers; I’m really doing the best that I can. Hopefully it doesn’t take me this long before I post something else. Until, I write again…I’m counting down the days. Keep up with me on Twitter.

I’ll catch up with you all soon.
Nai’lah     
 
 
As I recollect about my first pregnancy, I remember how many mixed emotions I had. I was twenty-five, nervous, happy and afraid. I would have someone else’s life in my hands. I’d be responsible for another human being.

As a parent, you only have one chance. If you screw up, you’d end up screwing someone up. I wanted to be the parent I always wanted for myself. I didn’t know what type of mother I was going to be but I wanted to be a great one.

When I had my son, I just looked at him. His tiny, frail body—his ten fingers, ten toes, perfect smile…yes my son smiled at the hospital. He was an extrovert from the moment he was born. I placed my finger in his hand and he held onto it. I held him near my bosom and he fell asleep.

Being a mom came natural to me. I was only concerned with protecting him. As he grew, I found myself teaching him things that only nourished his mind for the later stages.

Am I nervous this time around? I am somewhat because now I’m having a little girl. I’m not one of those women who get hung up on their sons. I plan on being the same way with my daughter as I have with my boys. I hope that I can be a positive role model to her. I pray that I can prepare her for life to the best of my ability.

I have to agree that each pregnancy is a different experience. I cannot wait for my daughter’s arrival but I’m being patient. When she gets here, I plan on enjoying her along with the rest of my family. I feel so blessed by all that I attain. It’s funny how I notice how grateful I need to be when I look into my kids’ eyes. Every morning I wake up, I thank God for all that he has and continues to bless me with.  I look forward to what he has in stored for me…trust me folks; there are great things in stored for Nai’lah Carter.

Stay tuned!

 
 
Well, I just logged onto my page and was disappointed to see how infrequent I’ve been with blogging. Honestly, it’s been across the board. I barely Tweet anymore—not like I used to at least. I just have so much going on it seems impossible to keep up with everything. I have days when I can stay up and write then there are days when I can barely make it up to my bedroom to sleep. I get home, fix dinner and crash on the couch.

I know what you’re all saying—that’s normal; “you’re pregnant” but my readers deserve so much more of me. Trust me when I say I am trying. Even though I may not be online often, I have been working. I’m proud to announce that I submitted the script that I’ve edited over two millions times—to the Nicholl Fellowship. Please keep your fingers crossed that I am one of the recipients—OMG that will be such a blessing. I busted my behind on it and finally got it where I wanted it. I was/am so THRILLED!!! I’m so proud of all that I’ve been accomplishing—though minute—I’m still getting things done.

A few months ago I posted a blog that detailed my projects—I can cross two out of eight items off my list. I’m seven months now and only have a few more weeks left. I’ll keep you all posted on my progress.

Keep on reading,
Nai’lah

 
 
I cannot wait to go on maternity leave. I’m so much more irritated with the bullshit at work; maternity leave cannot get here any faster. Now, I’m not a big person and even though I’m 28-weeks/7 months pregnant I’m still fairly tiny. However, you can tell that I’m pregnant.

Of course here comes the idiot with the stuff that makes me want to hurl someone out of a window. I exit the bathroom to be greeted by a coworker—an older lady that clearly loves to hear herself talk. I’m cordial as always; I bid her the time of day. She looks at my tummy and says, “Are you pregnant?” I wanted to get a skillet and go upside her head. Seriously, if I could’ve turned into Hulk and rip the sink off the counter and slapped the foolishness out of her; I would’ve. “What the hell? Am I pregnant? Bitch, yes I’m pregnant—get out my face with that dumb shit!” This was my initial reaction but I suppressed the urge to let loose and politely replied, “yes” and quietly left while she continued her conversation about who knows what but I didn’t care. Okay so that was a bit rude but it was better than my initial response.

Did I tell you all how intolerable I’ve become since I’ve been pregnant? Okay okay so I hate my job and it doesn’t take much to push me off the edge. I can get mad at someone for saying good morning to me in a jolly mood on Monday then get equally upset at that person for not saying good morning to me in a jolly mood on Tuesday. My sister tells me I’m moody—LOL—okay okay you’re right, sis. I admit it! I’ll be stubborn and use the excuse that I’m pregnant but we all know that it’s just that I hate my job!

Anyway, like I said before—come on maternity leave!! I welcome you into my life! Man, am I going to be hurting when it’s time for me to return to work after I have the baby. Not sure how I’ll do it but I believe that God has something planned for me.

Aright folks, I just knocked out three blogs in an hour. It’s time to get to work on project numero tres! Let’s hope I can stay up for at least an hour—plan on going to work early tomorrow so let me get going. Stay tuned, folks.

Nai’lah

 
 
I’ve been M.I.A. (missing in action) lately. I visited my website today and was so disappointed in myself when I realized that it has been over a month since I last posted a blog. Readers, please understand that I’ve been working on projects but unfortunately haven’t had a moment to work on anything new.

Between my nine-to-five and my family it seems as if I can’t make time for anything else. My energy level has increased though inconsistent; I try to do as much as I can. Yet, it’s never enough.

I have a list of projects and deadlines that I’m insistently trying to fulfill before my due date (7/29). Accomplishing these seem damn near impossible. So, I’m going to list these along with my current deadlines in effort to put some pressure on myself. Hopefully by the beginning of July, you all can ask on the statuses and I can say that I completed them all.

Here’s my list:

  1. Edit TV-format/Pitchbible: 3/31
  2. Query letters to agents/producers: 4/1
  3. Pilot (for TV-format): 4/8
  4. Spec Script: 4/11
  5. Feature film #2: 6/20
  6. Novel: 6/16
  7. Sitcom TV-format/Pitchbible: 7/5
  8. Pilot (for Sitcom—TV-format): 7/6

Okay so I know you’re probably looking at my list and thinking that I’m crazy. I work on projects simultaneously but my only problem is that I don’t have the energy to work as much as I would like to. My intentions are to achieve these goals so wish me luck you guys.

I plan on taking some time off to prepare for the arrival of my little one on: 7/24. Will definitely keep you all posted. I welcome your comments/emails so please don’t hesitate…I always make time for my readers.

Talk to you all soon,
Nai’lah